We're like a lot better than the average bears
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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