her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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