she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
