He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
