she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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