just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
