i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
