walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
