i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize