So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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