My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
