CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
