she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
