fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
