Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The Olympian is in my bed
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
