He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
