so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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