Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
