Where did you get a picture of my penis
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
