Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
