Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
