new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
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