I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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