I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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