i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I've blown a few things in my day
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
