I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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