and next time when you feel me up, do it right
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
