we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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