so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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