Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
