WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
