This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
