You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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