I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize