It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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