this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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