forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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