i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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