You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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