How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
