Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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