Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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