Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
