So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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