North Korea, Best Korea!
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize