my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
