What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
i now understand why vodka
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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