i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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