Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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