the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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