I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
this just has baby written all over it
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
