Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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