make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
