Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
