sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
