So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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