This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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