I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
