when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize