thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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