Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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