I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Sorry about my life...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
