Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
