I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
My pussy is not your playground.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
