I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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