my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
