i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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