Your tits are I can't wait for
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
